When you live with a chronic illness like IBS or Crohn’s, support from a friend can mean the world to you. But sometimes friends don’t always know the right things to say.

That’s why we’ve put together this list of five things not to say to people with IBS or Crohn’s disease (as well as some alternative approaches). It’s meant to be shared with friends, loved ones, and anyone touched by IBS or Crohn’s, for a better handle on approaching illness.